tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46428325084513025892024-02-06T21:35:37.368-06:00Transforming TexanSpiritual journeyTransforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.comBlogger66125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-16780971589481934552017-01-03T10:52:00.001-06:002017-01-03T10:52:35.045-06:00<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="aoki7" data-offset-key="2a9k3-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<span data-offset-key="2a9k3-0-0">My one word for 2017: DECLARE</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="2s7jj-0-0">To declare literally means to acknowledge possession – to recognize what is already ours and walk in that truth, affirming to ourselves and coming into agreement with God what He has already said about us and about Himself. This is how the Jesus follower is meant to function.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="96tmc-0-0">This spoke to me on so many levels as I am going into this year with great joy and anticipation as to where the LORD is leading me!</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="ecdp6-0-0">I am so excited to be on Lisa Whittle's launch team for her new 10 day bible study DECLARE...it's free and we can do it together from the comfort of our own homes!! </span><span class="_5u8n" data-offset-key="ecdp6-1-0" spellcheck="false" style="background-color: rgba(88, 144, 255, 0.14902); border-bottom-color: rgba(88, 144, 255, 0.298039); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px;"><span data-offset-key="ecdp6-1-0"><span data-text="true">#Declarestudy</span></span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="760vl-0-0">Click on link more info: http://lisawhittle.com/declare</span></div>
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Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-35395092909758446802015-02-25T14:07:00.000-06:002015-02-25T14:07:54.212-06:00Matters of the HeartI have been walking in circles of late. Wish I could say that the circles were ones of praise and thanksgiving, the ones walked by Joshua and his army in Jericho, as mentioned in my last post (a year ago), but alas, they are not. These circles are trenches of mud. Mud made by fears, anxious thoughts and sadness.<br />
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I knew I was stuck in the mud, I had even said those exact words to two different people. However, I did not know how caked the mud has gotten on my heart. That was until I lashed out at a stranger with my dragon's tail of a tongue!! Seriously, what kind of person does that?? I was completely unaware of my darkened heart, until I saw their eyes and the shock that was there. It truly felt as if someone had used a defibrillator on me...suddenly my true heart starting beating again and I immediately tried my best to apologize, but the damage had clearly been done.<br />
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I spent the next 3 days in complete remorse. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and, truthfully, scared out of mind at how dark my heart had gotten. This is not the type of person I want to be nor would have ever thought I could be. Three days of crying out for forgiveness and restoring of my heart. I even questioned if I truly believed that I was forgiven...the mud was thick.<br />
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I am sure there are some of you who think I am getting a little carried away here. You might even say, "You just spoke words out of impatience and anger...people do that all the time. What's the big deal? You really need to get a grip, they probably have already moved on..."<br />
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But here's the deal, all throughout the Bible, we are told that God looks upon man's heart.<br />
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In Mark, we are told, "For from within, out of your hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile you" Mark 7:21-23<br />
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Again, in Luke, "Good people bring good things out of the good stored up in their heart, and evil people bring evil things out of the evil stored up in their heart. For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks!" Luke 6:45<br />
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If we ignore the despair and sadness, anger and negativity, then we are making ourselves vulnerable for the enemy to set up camp. Even if there are legitimate reasons for our state of mind, we need to be attentive to our hearts. I, personally, just sat down and kinda gave up in the mud that I had been circling in. It's easy to do, life gets hard and we get tired. (And a side note, we might start out in circles of praise and thanksgiving, but that doesn't mean it won't rain while we are marching around...mud eventually happens.) That is exactly when the enemy sees his chance to set up camp and wreck havoc.<br />
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Hannah More describes this in Religion of the Heart. In chapter 11, she discusses the topic of Comparatively Small Faults and Virtues. Here she describes a fishing net looking to catch the big sins, but allowing the littler ones to escape only to grow bigger. Her point is that we need to pay attention to the little vices in our hearts, lest "the infant becomes a giant!"<br />
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So, it is a big deal. With all that is going on in the world, our hearts HAVE to be set on things above!<br />
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Lent is the perfect time and I am more than grateful and not surprised that this happened at the beginning of this season of repentance. May we all be shocked with the defibrillator of the HOLY SPIRIT this season.<br />
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Create in me a pure heart, O God, </div>
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and renew a steadfast spirit within me.</div>
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Do not cast me from your presence</div>
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or take your Holy Spirit from me.</div>
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Restore to me the joy of your salvation</div>
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and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.</div>
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Psalm 51:10-12</div>
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<br />Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-20515870851430728632014-03-06T07:23:00.001-06:002014-03-06T07:23:57.965-06:00Crossing over the Jordon<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/join-faith-barista-jam-thursdays/" target="blank"><img src="http://www.faithbarista.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/FaithBarista_FreshJamBadge_Stacked2.jpg" /></a> </div>
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It is good to be back writing, thanks to <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/join-faith-barista-jam-thursdays/">Bonnie</a> for giving the prompt "Journey"<br />
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<i>I haven't written in over a year.</i><br />
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After this <a href="http://jeanklinger.blogspot.com/2012_07_01_archive.html">post</a>, my heart was laid bare and a deep healing began. I was able to connect words to page only a few times...and then so much swirling of emotions, truths, lies and upheavals just bogged me down. I prayed that God would honor my thoughts and keep them safe for me. And He has.<br />
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Over the next few weeks, I will be processing and reliving the past year. Simply, I hope to bring my journey to it's next destination. <br />
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It was through <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/join-faith-barista-jam-thursdays/">Bonnie's prompts</a> that I was able to speak and it is through those same ones that I am trusting my voice again. So, here goes...<br />
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No matter where you look in the Bible there is someone going on a journey.<br />
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And we are no different. <br />
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<i>"Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River in to the land I am about to give them." Joshua 1:2</i><br />
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Four years, <i>four long winters</i>, we spent in Minnesota. And by the Grace of God alone, He lead us back to Texas. It maybe a stretch, but I felt like we were finally coming out of the wilderness and getting to cross the Jordan River into the promised land!! I could the almost feel the excitement of the Israelites..the Promised Land! Expect I totally forgot about the inhabitants and the battles that needed to be fought! Make no mistake, our lives, today, parallel those in the Bible...it is one of the reasons it is called the LIVING WORD!<br />
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The day my husband left Minnesota to drive to Texas to start his new job, it snowed. It was May. I still had six weeks with the kids as they finished up the school year. I had already had my fill of this winter. But...<br />
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I had starting thinking and reading about the journey across the Jordan AND how the Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh got to stay and find rest. REST would be good. Can I be honest and say that I was actually wondering if it was a good idea to be leaving Minnesota?!<br />
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We were just starting to make connections, <i>did I mention it had been four years</i>, and I was sure that I could have started working at the church we had begun attending. Was I up for more battling and pulling and shedding of old habits...more wilderness work? I started imagining what the wives of the various tribes of Israel were feeling.<br />
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The ones that got to "find rest" were excited, at first, to finally stay put and make a home. Then the realization that their men still had to go into battle came over them. <i>It was a difficult time.</i> The other wives were probably jealous at first, then realized they got to stay with their men, even though there was battling ahead. <i>It was a difficult time.</i><br />
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The ultimate decision to move back to Texas was a difficult one and it has been a difficult time with some restful times thrown in. The battles are real. For each one, God has been cutting the size of the troops down. We are currently at our Jericho.<br />
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<i>Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. I will never leave you or forsake you. Only be strong and courageous.</i> <i>Joshua 1</i><br />
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This is our promise, no matter where your journey leads you...He will never leave us or forsake us! If only, we would <i>remember</i> that more often...<br />
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<br />Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-13181038350865793992013-03-21T06:30:00.000-05:002013-03-21T06:30:01.081-05:00When Winter is your Spring<a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/">Bonnie</a> wants us to write about "spring".<br />
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Honestly, when I read the prompt, I had nothing to say, at least nothing good to say.<br />
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We are still in the throws of winter here, well my definition of winter anyway, temps in the 20-30's, blizzard warnings and 3-6 inches of snow!<br />
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And as I was sitting next the fire drinking my morning coffee, the snow started to let up and the room brightened just a bit. What happened next nearly sent me to my knees, literally. I spoke these words aloud: "I won't be fooled by this light, I know there is still more darkness coming!" And with that my spirit wailed within me, because this is how my heart has been for a while now.<br />
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The few rays of light that have entered, I have refused to believe and to trust. Instead of enjoying the break in the storm, I have called it false hope and have sunk deeper in my pity. I have said I wanted to live full of joy and excitement for Christ, but really only if it is on my terms...happy feel good comfortable living. <br />
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These verses from Matthew have been rolling around in me since August and God has been digging up roots and exposing Truth.<br />
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Matthew 6:22-24</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">New International Version (NIV)</span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-22" id="en-NIV-23305"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum">22 </sup>“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.</span></span> <span class="text Matt-6-23" id="en-NIV-23306"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum">23 </sup>But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. <span style="color: blue;">If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum">24 </sup>“No
one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the
other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You
cannot serve both God and money.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">(<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6:22-24&version=NIV#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)</sup></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"></span></span><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"> </sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"></span></span><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">It has been the second part of verse 23 that has slayed me time and time again. </sup></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">At first, fear gripped me and I truly was afraid, that all this time, my life in Christ had been a charade. (The enemy loves to wield fear to keep us trapped in bondage.) As the Holy Spirit worked in me and showed me Truth, the fear subsided and true repentance started as God revealed where my heart needed change.</sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"><br /></sup></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">I no longer fear when the Spirit calls me out, like on Monday morning. I know God is good and gracious. I know He wants me to draw closer to Him. I am still surprised, however, by my own lack of faith and trust. </sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"><br /></sup></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">Funny how that we are surprised but God is not. Ridiculous that He still chases after us when we are so blind. Transforming that HE loves us still.</sup></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">Verse 24 has not been lost on me either, considering our financial mess. (my wanting a happy feel good comfortable life...)</sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"><br /></sup></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">God is good. Always. He wants only the best for me. He wants a bright light in me to shine for HIM and HIM alone.</sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"><br /></sup></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">Sunday is <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matt%2021:4-Matt%2021:9,%20Mark%2011:7-Mark%2011:10,%20Luke%2019:35-Luke%2019:38&version=NIV">Palm Sunday</a>, and there is no false hope in Jesus.</sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"> </sup></span></span><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"> </sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">I am so glad that God does not leave me in the dark, but that He shines HIS light into my dark places that are parading around as light.</sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"><br /></sup></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">Winter may be hijacking my spring, but Jesus is transforming my heart. </sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"><br /></sup></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"> <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/join-faith-barista-jam-thursdays/" target="blank"><img src="http://www.faithbarista.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/FaithBarista_FreshJamBadge_Stacked2.jpg" /></a></sup></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"><br /></sup></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-24" id="en-NIV-23307"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23307A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"><br /></sup></span></span></span>Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-5169569431198493172013-03-14T06:00:00.000-05:002013-03-14T07:34:21.825-05:00Messy DaysThe calendar has turned five pages since the last time I placed words on a screen.<br />
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It seems like forever ago, and at the same time, only yesterday.<br />
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Life gets messy when we get honest with ourselves and God. Hours turn to days, days into weeks, and weeks into months.<br />
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Winter darkness lends a hand with the slipping of days, being stingy with the sun light and more than generous with the biting cold wind. <br />
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My year named "strength", ended with me using every bit of strength I had to admit that I needed <a href="http://www.jeanklinger.blogspot.com/2012/10/i-am-still-here.html">medical help.</a> Depression's equally sinister sister, Anxiety, decided to take over. What I presumed to be depression was actually anxiety...very tricky thing...they go hand in hand and mirror each other well!<br />
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My new year, I call "endurance". The old language would call it "long suffering". My favorite definition is "patient power"...we could all use that!! When God gave me this word, I first thought it was just me going with the next common thing after strength. But HE was faithful and revealed it three different times, using three different avenues, each one louder than the previous one. I love how HE is so patient with us when we keep asking, "Are you sure?"<br />
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The medicine is helping. I am grateful...my husband is grateful...my children are thankful I am not so angry all the time.<br />
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Life is still hard.<br />
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Ailing parents a thousand miles away, a dog with cancer, a husband who is bored and still trying to maneuver our way through the financial/housing mess.<br />
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Just the other day, my husband tells me that the attorney we have been working with, for over a year, can no longer help us because he doesn't handle cases like ours. We have to start over. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I have just reached to heaven and yelled "LORD!", and as I am falling back onto the couch a sound like a cynical/manic laugh comes out of my mouth. Instantly I am reminded what this year is called and I smile weakly. God has his ways and they are not my ways.<br />
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Each day I choose...choose to let Anxiety win or choose to TRUST in HIM who knows my days for he has made each one. Some days I don't choose well. Some moments I don't choose well. Most days I ask for more faith to choose HIM. This is messy but honest. The enemy has used this against me and will try again in the form of shame and guilt. Each day. Patient Power. Endurance.<br />
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This is how I follow Jesus. Each day, sometimes messy, sometimes the sun shines so bright and I laugh so hard...it is wonderful!!<br />
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He gives me the promise of spring and of a new life...I am counting on that promise! So I continue to follow, messy.<br />
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<br />Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-82447563485953796932012-10-24T15:51:00.000-05:002013-03-20T13:04:36.905-05:00I am still here...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The last post about did me in. Emotionally I mean. I ended up in a place that I thought was long forgotten, at least buried deep enough to not be found. But the hole opened up and I fell right in. It has taken me some time to climb back out...burying it again was not an option.<br />
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Add in the two full moons in August, school starting, and other various life happening...it took much longer than I expected to find my way back to the surface. There were moments when I thought I really needed to seek professional help, because I have before, and I know those moments are but a shadow away from reality. This time, though, the healing needed to go beyond symptoms and something new needed to fill the hole.<br />
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It was a Monday morning, kids were at school, the weather was changing soon...so I told my husband that I was going to spend the day at the Arboretum with God. There was laundry to be done, floors to clean, but I was empty and depressed. So that is what I did. And this is what HE had for me...<br />
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I stopped at a pond and prayed that HE would meet me there. Just let me know all of this "suffering" was not for nothing. I just needed, wanted to know that I was doing this the way HE wanted.<br />
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I left the pond with an open mind and open heart. No agenda, no ipod, nothing and started walking into the woods.
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The views HE provided were breathtaking. <br />
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Why do we so easily forget what a great artist and creator HE is?<br />
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Then I came up a hill and was taken aback by the barrenness of this huge oak tree.<br />
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And as if on cue, I turned to by left and there was a maple in full glory.
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I am almost ashamed to admit this, but I looked at the oak, then again at the maple and walked towards the maple. The oak mirrored what I was feeling already, and I wanted to escape that empty, dead filling. The maple was full of color and the sun was making the leaves sparkle...I needed color, life, sparkle!
Almost instantly as I turned toward the sparkle of the maple, my heart sank. I was struck by the Spirit. I had chosen the "world" over God. Did I immediately run to the oak, no...I continued to walk the path past the maple..but the Spirit would not let me be...I did ask for HIM to join me...<br />
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I turned around and went back towards the oak. Its size caught my attention again. That mighty oak, though stripped of the majority of its leaves reminded of home. Its old, craved branches pulled me in to study the depths of its bark. I knew I had to take a picture.<br />
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As I was looking for a place to set down my bag, I noticed a bench in the bushes...and this is what I found when I went to place my bag...
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I was stunned. Not only had HE met me there, HE saved me there, again.</div>
<span style="font-size: small;"> (if you can't make out the picture it says: Jesus said, The Spirit of the Lord is upon me to grant to those who mourn, garland instead of ashes, gladness instead of mourning, praises instead of a faint spirit. That they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord.~Isaiah 61:1-3, Luke 4:18-19) </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Was I instantly not depressed or empty, no...but I knew I was healing and that brought me joy, the kind that only HE can give!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"> And has the winter starts to show itself here, I am clinging to that joy!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"> My friends, no matter how deep the hole is that you may have dug, HE is there and will provide the way out.
For even in the coldest of winters, the rose will bloom in the spring!!
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</span>Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-74242076132121526582012-08-30T06:00:00.000-05:002012-08-30T07:00:34.548-05:00Come Follow MeThis week, our prompt from <a href="http://http//www.faithbarista.com/join-faith-barista-jam-thursdays/">Bonnie</a> was.."God will make a way" Please pull up a chair and join us, because sometimes we all get a little lost and need a reminder that HE really will make a way...<br />
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There is a saying, that within us there is a door waiting to be opened. A hidden place. Maybe a place that needs grace, love and healing. Or just a place where forgotten dreams have been stored.<br />
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Either one, there is still a door. And it is probably closed, maybe even locked and the key thrown away!<br />
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In the quite, there might be a knock. Is it you knocking to be let out, or is it someone else trying to get in? But there is most definitely a knocking sound. Sometimes, it is easy to ignore and get busy with life...but then, life gets hard and we end up back at the door.<br />
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There is a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Knocking-Religious-Picture-Art/dp/B003ZKIN88">picture</a> of Jesus knocking at a door waiting to be let in. If you have never let HIM into your heart, it is very possible that this your door. And I would so urge you to do so.<br />
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However, if you have already let HIM in, then the door maybe somewhere HE has led you.<br />
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This is the case for me. I have been wondering around in a room that I had forgotten about and had no desire to visit again. But here I am. And I am not alone. There is healing and grace and love...there is still sadness, but so much more gratefulness than I realized.<br />
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This room..do I dare share..this is the best description of this room:<br />
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<pre style="color: blue;"> "Uh... I don't know. It was like... falling into a hole.
It was like falling into a hole,and it keeps getting bigger and
bigger, ..and you can't get out,and then, ...all of a sudden, it's
inside...and you're the hole, and you're trapped, and it's all
over. Something like that. And it's not really scary, except it
is when you think back on it.'Cause you know what you were
feeling strange and new..." ~ Conrad, Ordinary People</pre>
<pre style="color: blue;"> </pre>
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I was a junior in high school. And sitting in the dark auditorium, the person on stage was describing me. I sat there and knew I could so easily end up where he did...attempted suicide. However, I didn't try, not then...it would be seven years later.<br />
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Nothing messy, or painful...you see I am a wimp and a scaredy cat!!<br />
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It was after my divorce, in a bubble bath and I thought...if I could just slip under the bubbles....and I did. Then, I will never forget it, my soul cried out and God pulled me out of the water.<br />
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I have NEVER shared this with anyone, until 3 days ago when I told my husband. (and now you) <br />
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There are places, moments, that change your life forever. This is one of mine.<br />
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We like to travel as a family and I love taking pictures of paths we walk. Maybe it is because I know where I have been, and I like to have a reminder as to where HE has taken me.<br />
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Some of the paths are straight and lead into pure beauty and wonder.<br />
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Some are mysterious and not well lit.<br />
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Some are rocky and slippery.<br />
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But all of them, I have heard Jesus say...Come follow ME.<br />
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So, I am back in the auditorium, but this time I KNOW that I am not
alone with my secret...and HE shows me love, grace and healing. HE
holds out his hand and says...Come, this way, there is still so much to
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You will still have dark days, but I am here. I will be your
light. I will be your hiding place. </div>
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Come, follow Me.</div>
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And I do, even on my dark days...</div>
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Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-90754503398164765232012-08-25T17:30:00.001-05:002012-08-25T17:30:57.018-05:00Battle ScarsI am joining in the<a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/"> Faith Jam that Bonnie </a>hosts on Thursday...it is safe here, and she is an inspiration to try and write broken. This weeks prompt is a letter to God.<br />
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Dear God,<br />
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I am bruised and weary. I am angry and afraid. I want and need to scream, cry, wail...but I don't, I can't. <br />
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The emotions are too strong and raw.<br />
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The voice in my head tells me it is just a waste of time and energy.<br />
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So I push on, another day done...but not really lived.<br />
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I need YOU!!<br />
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I know that YOU are with me. YOU have proven it so many times before.<br />
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Something has died inside of me and I am left with incredible emptiness.<br />
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I know that for something to truly live, it has to die to self...but how long, LORD GOD, will this darkness last before life starts again?<br />
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I almost didn't write this letter, because it is not what people want to hear...I am good at portraying what people "want" and "expect"..this, this vulnerablity is hard to do..even on a computer. ~smile~<br />
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YOU are giving me strength as I write these words...LIFE is real and DEATH has been conquered!!<br />
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"If you'll hold on to me for dear life, " says God,<br />
"I'll get you out of any trouble.<br />
I'll give you the best care if you'll only get to know ME and TRUST ME." ~ Psalms 91:14-15<br />
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Help me hold on, help me hold on...<br />
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Always and only YOURS<br />
<br />
Jean<br />
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<br />Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-72245570680832830522012-08-16T14:09:00.001-05:002012-08-16T14:09:24.240-05:00What I know now...I am participating in an exercise over <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/">here</a> because it is her encouragement that has lead me back to writing. However, I will not be posting a picture of myself...that takes more bravery than I have right now!!<br />
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Dear younger self...<br />
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This is not the first time I have written you, and more than likely won't be the last.<br />
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This letter is more confirmation than realization of who you are and who you are becoming.<br />
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There are a couple of themes in our life that I need to remind you of and clarify for you.<br />
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First and foremost, God loves gardening. That might sound trite, however...we don't love gardening, we don't even like gardening!! Love taking walks in gardens though. Love taking pictures of gardens. But. Do. NOT. like working in the yard. It is sweaty, dirty and causes us to itch!<br />
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But, in case you missed it, God LOVES, LOVES to garden and will use every aspect of gardening to teach you about HIS ways. Hence the struggle we have. HE loves it and we, not so much!<br />
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The planting, the weeding, the pruning...it all plays out in your life. And it is not a one time deal...God tends to His garden, which is you by the way, everyday. Right now we are in the midst of some serious work, we have become root bound. I have found out that fixing this is very uncomfortable and costly.<br />
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A plant that is root bound needs to uprooted; the root ball, gently but firmly, TORN APART; replanted in new soil and goes into a state of shock for a time. Only the strong parts of the plant survive. Parts that looked healthy, but really aren't, do not survive the replanting. It takes time and patience and great care for the plant to regain its full strength. When it does, the blooms are bigger and more abundant than before.<br />
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So take courage, we are being looked after by the greatest gardener of them all...God, himself is holding our root ball gently and firmly in his hands. And in due time, we will know our full potential...that is, until the process starts over again. Which it will, it has too...that is how gardening works, that is how God works..He wants our full potential and will not leave us alone until we reach it in Christ Jesus.<br />
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Which leads me to the second theme...knowledge.<br />
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Reading has always played a huge part in our life. It is our escape. It is our safe place. Our tastes have changed over the years as we have grown. For a while now it has been about growing closer to God and all the ways that is possible.<br />
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However, since we have been in this season of root bound, even reading offers no escape...I think it is because we are to be silent and words get noisy sometimes.<br />
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There are bible verses that bring rest and restoration to our weariness, so hold them tight and let them soak in, deep into our veins. They will bring insight and hope, but not before they bring truth and humility.<br />
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Matthew 6:22-24, this will bring you face to face with lies you have believed for so long, you thought they were truth..there is freedom from the entanglement..it just takes time.<br />
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Matthew 22:37, this is our journey...knowledge from head to heart to soul. Most people will tell you about making head knowledge to heart knowledge. And we have great experience <a href="http://www.jeanklinger.blogspot.com/2010/10/paying-attention-to-holy-spirit.html">here</a>. But no one really talks about the heart to soul part. Maybe they have and we just haven't made that connection. But there is where we are now...heart knowledge to soul knowledge. This is hard work.<br />
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So let me encourage you, enter into it fully...stop trying so hard to make it work out for the good or what you think it should look like...just let God do the work and be still and know who HE is.<br />
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Wait. Trust. Be.<br />
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You have a great life ahead of you, more than you can imagine...<br />
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Still waiting, still trusting and trying to just be.<br />
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Jean<br />
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<a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/join-faith-barista-jam-thursdays/" target="blank"><img src="http://www.faithbarista.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/FaithBarista_FreshJamBadge_Stacked2.jpg" /></a>Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-26005136945721216672012-07-29T12:25:00.000-05:002012-07-29T12:25:54.715-05:00Broken<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Broken.<br />
This is how I feel.<br />
This is why I have not written in over a year.<br />
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No one wants to read about being broken, at least that is what the voice in my head has been saying. And then I read what <a href="http://faithbarista.com/2012/07/why-ive-been-away-why-i-must-write-now/">Bonnie</a> wrote.
She had courage to write about being broken, and I was encouraged and challenged to do the same.<br />
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Though, I still would rather keep hiding and waiting for the brokenness to heal.<br />
You see, I am really good at hiding, I have done it all my life.<br />
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I have hidden behind a smile when I really wanted to scream and cry. I have hidden my disappointments with "it's okay, it really didn't mean that much to me anyway". I have hidden my sins in deep dark caverns. I have hidden my dreams in those same caverns because, really, most of my dreams are broken too. I have gotten lost a time or two in my caverns. Lost, not really, hiding there, yes. But being in the dark for too long makes you feel lost. And things getting twisted and turned around. Lies start to sound like truth. And, well, sometimes I am not sure anyone cares, really. So I stay hidden.<br />
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When life demands it, I pull out a small mirror and show a reflection of light...a smile, a kind word, a "can do" attitude.<br />
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But lately, even my mirror is showing cracks...<br />
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And I am feeling exposed. My hiding places aren't safe anymore. <br />
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This is what some call the working of the Holy Spirit. The refining fire. The<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Dark-Night-Dover-Thrift-Editions/dp/0486426939/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1343580230&sr=1-1&keywords=dark+night+of+the+soul"> Dark Night of The Soul</a>...an awareness of being completely vulnerable and alone. <br />
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When all falseness is being torn away and sin and shame are put in their rightful place.<br />
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It sounds great, but the reality is harsh, glaring and uncomfortable.<br />
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Not many travel here, some seek it, some start but turn away when it gets hard, and others, like myself, are lead here unknowingly until they are in the thick of it and there is no turning around, because they are in the middle of darkness and there is no forward or backward. And this is all that you can do:<br />
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Be still and KNOW that I am GOD. ~ Psalm 46:10<br />
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Some days, a light shines and you are shown how far you have come and how much you have been blessed.<br />
Some days, it is like it is starting all again with the darkness, and God whispers...<br />
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Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. ~ Deuteronomy 30:11<br />
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And you hold on to TRUTH. I have this verse in my kitchen and I read every morning, noon and night. It has kept me going. Some days all I am asked to do is get out of bed, shower and get dressed...and that can be really hard to do.<br />
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Because, you see, the enemy wants to keep me in the dark, hidden, afraid, ashamed. And he knows my default mode...<br />
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So does God. <br />
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God is pulling me ever so gently out of the dark, breaking down my hiding places, and bringing in fresh dirt, light and water...growing me, refining me, strengthening me.<br />
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HIS reflection is starting to fill in my cracks,and I am learning to trust the broken places to HIM. HIS designs are always so much more than we can imagine.
There are many words forming in my heart and mind...I pray that more will make it here, and not stay hidden.Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-9379739850420166522011-06-22T23:27:00.004-05:002011-06-23T09:28:55.221-05:00Naming Dreams, Kinda of..I know I haven't written in awhile, but really I did not know it has been since February!! Where has the time gone?<br /><br />Time did not get lost, I did.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwhOYwE6VarExmjOoSv0MlqyEP99pShwBH_KByOGPbeIgArfLnPBAarhUettQ4C4yvx97LT-NqacZSesAwZ8qve5W01rLfVN0bTzVWGzsYE2CTz1Hgq89zZASE73Oz4zJpdJqWfP7NbQDd/s1600/winter+vacation+2011+017.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwhOYwE6VarExmjOoSv0MlqyEP99pShwBH_KByOGPbeIgArfLnPBAarhUettQ4C4yvx97LT-NqacZSesAwZ8qve5W01rLfVN0bTzVWGzsYE2CTz1Hgq89zZASE73Oz4zJpdJqWfP7NbQDd/s320/winter+vacation+2011+017.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5621276409930099442" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I got lost in the land of "what ifs" and "should haves" and "to scared to".<br /><br />Then my son missed 20 days of school, let's just all of March! Surgery, strep, and a virus all rolled into one..at least it seemed it all happened at the same time!<br /><br />And before I knew it the school had ended and here I am, still lost, but climbing out of fear.<br /><br />Such a small word, fear, but oh the mess it can cause.<br /><br />I have this idea of what I think God is calling me to do, actually it is more than an idea and it has been confirmed more than once...it is what I am being called to do...but.. (yes another small word that causes darkness to settle)<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I haven't just been idle all this time stewing on the risks and the reality of being unequipped..I have stepped out...just really small steps! And now, well, now I know it is time to stretch and reach for the larger steps. The ones that make your brow fill with beads of sweat and have you question "why on earth did I just do this?" I am sure you know the kind I am talking about...risks..stepping out in faith, being obedient even when it doesn't make sense.<br /><br />So many times, I have started to write only to close the computer and say.."no body wants to read your pity party, or how you constantly question what is the right thing to do.."<br /><br />But today, I was re-reading<a href="http://www.amazon.com/One-Thousand-Gifts-Fully-Right/dp/0310321913/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1308805054&sr=8-1"> Ann Voskamp's book</a> and a light bulb went off! In the middle of chapter 3, she talks about naming things and writing them down...and in doing so gives them back to God who created it in the first place...giving thanks!<br /><br />I should write, not because someone is reading it or not, but because in putting pen to paper (or fingers to key board) I am naming my God-given dreams and giving thanks even if they don't make sense at the moment. And in writing, you can "see"and it is no longer in the shadows, light can shine on it, whatever it is, and all things can begin to take shape in the light.<br /><br />God has given me a dream, one with many parts, and I am starting small but I am stretching and reaching and praying. And as a pastor once said, "We can spend all our time on our knees praying, but if we don't get up and walk forward, we may never see the prayer answered!"<br /><br />So, today, I am naming and giving thanks and walking forward...<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.faithbarista.com"><br /><br /><img title="FaithBarista_FreshJamBadgeG" src="http://www.faithbarista.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/FaithBarista_FreshJamBadgeG.jpg" alt="FaithBarista_FreshJamBadgeG" width="468" height="59" /><br /><br /></a>Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-52382247989710835042011-02-02T17:53:00.002-06:002011-02-02T18:11:17.203-06:00Finding REAL love...This is a re-post, but it fits nicely with the Jam this week...at least I think so!<br /><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"> Team Jesus </h3> <div class="post-header"> </div> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWrh4E55ABmv_k2j_s1_NhfUb7Qq0BhbB9EKA8ohf5i_DjAr5Z4KtXNbjeB6gFofdonfYsuDmP4QV_wl8G2yxzJMQ5TObeg1ZjXwTnRfm6GqgCPx7CHX_VhPKgyqhsoaLcvdO6zk8Qxr2f/s1600/Forest.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWrh4E55ABmv_k2j_s1_NhfUb7Qq0BhbB9EKA8ohf5i_DjAr5Z4KtXNbjeB6gFofdonfYsuDmP4QV_wl8G2yxzJMQ5TObeg1ZjXwTnRfm6GqgCPx7CHX_VhPKgyqhsoaLcvdO6zk8Qxr2f/s320/Forest.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493499569153191554" border="0" /></a><br />Okay, so I will admit that I have read the <a href="www.stepheniemeyer.com">Twilight</a> series and am keeping up to date on the movie releases..however this is NOT about Twilight...it is about finding out someone has a CRUSH on you!!!<br /><br />I am one of the girls who has always dreamed of "the man" who sweeps you off your feet, will fight to the death for you...you know exactly what I am talking about if you are a hopeless romantic too!! (The fact is I think all women are looking for this, even if they don't want to admit it!!)<br /><br />The problem is that Hollywood has never failed at making us drool over some character to the point we think the actor playing the character is one in the same <span style="font-style: italic;">{insert any and all male actors who play a romantic hero} </span>...not only that but they start targeting us at such an early age, when we are just starting to fantasize about Mr. Right!!<br /><br />I know... I fell young and hard to the lie that there was a man that could match all expectations, even if some of those expectations where as lofty as the clouds.<br /><br />I came from a loving family. I KNEW that I was loved, that God loved me and I had a great Daddy who not only loved all of us kids, but adores my Mom! Still, by the time I was 16, I so wanted to BE loved...what I really wanted (hindsight is great by the way)was to be the object of some one's desire..what made them want to get up in the morning, to lay down their life for me...anyone know what I am talking about??<br /><br />So at 18, I was naively honest with someone about my romantic self and I started in a relationship that was not the best for me...I soon got married and then divorced shortly after that...the WHOLE relationship lasted less than <span style="font-style: italic;">6 years</span>!!<br /><br />The funny thing, I still wanted to find that person who could/would fit into MY vision!!<br /><br />Do you remember the movie <a href="www.imdb.com/title/tt0112573">BRAVEHEART</a>? Well, I was in the movies, with the person I was currently in a relationship with, and made the comment that I wanted the love and commitment that was displayed in that movie, (searching for and hoping for the answer I wanted...) he proceeds to say, in a "matter of fact" way, "you won't be getting that from me"...I left that movie totally crushed.<br /><br />So another relationship ended and I was broken more this time than the first one in which I had actually been married!!<br /><br />GOD is good! And HE sent me someone, who does not think the world revolves around me, but..loves me like no other. We have been married for over 13 years and are still acting like it is our honeymoon!<br /><br />I throw that in there because the truth is I still have yearned for that "object of desire" feeling from someone about ME!! That was until Sunday...<br /><br />So, my husband has been traveling..a lot, and I was in need of some time without kiddos, and the newest movie in the Twilight series has been out for two weeks...so I went all by myself to see it. All those thoughts of being that object of desire for someone surfaced again, but differently than as a naive teenager. I know now that expectations are sometimes lies told by the enemy to keep us from the great stuff God has in store for us; and I know that I am truly happily married, so what was with all the old desires surfacing???<br /><br />Well, as I was driving home and hashing out my thoughts...God started playing HIS own love story in my mind...and guess what...I AM HIS OBJECT OF DESIRE!!! I almost had to pull the car over...<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I am the reason Jesus was born and came to live among us</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I am the reason Jesus died on the cross for sins of ALL mankind</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I am the reason Jesus kicked some evil booty</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I am the reason Jesus rose again on the third day</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I am the reason Jesus WILL COME AGAIN!!!!</span><br /><br />And the best part, YOU are HIS object of desire too!!!<br /><br />I don't know where you are right now, today...but it has taken me all this time to 'get it' that God wants us so much more than we want him!!<br /><br />And now that I have gotten that message loud and clear...I have the silliest grin on my face!!<br /><br />GOD HAS A CRUSH ON ME!!!<br /><br />Won't you let HIM have one on you too?<br /><br /><a href="http://jeanklinger.blogspot.com/2010/07/team-jesus.html"></a><br /><br />Click <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/join-faith-barista-jam-thursdays/">here</a> to read more about finding that TRUE love!!<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.faithbarista.com"><img class="size-full wp-image-9555 alignnone" title="FaithBarista_UnwrapLoveBadge" src="http://www.faithbarista.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/FaithBarista_UnwrapLoveBadge.jpg" alt="FaithBarista_UnwrapLoveBadge" width="468" height="59" /><br /><br /></a>Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-48665427323160739052011-01-13T11:51:00.003-06:002011-01-13T12:31:15.520-06:00UPSIDE/DOWNSIDEOver the years I have learned that being surrounded by fellow 'walkers of the WAY', has been both a blessing and a struggle. (You noticed that I did not say 'Christians'...I strongly feel that label leaves lots to be desired...many claim to be, but their actions speak louder than their words...I am talking about people who REALLY believe what they believe and their lives SHOW it!)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfFUod8IsBxBaiEasRTC6lAbxobneh-heyHGM6ZE9hPS-7ZLFBYVtdzMQI9Q1r_qzqaLBErVceFiI4ptzB7MV5bqXdk-gDXfSAGS2nZZ4TozmwGVDxreeUBey2ynfwpbV74BgedWEvctNs/s1600/dec+2010+462.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfFUod8IsBxBaiEasRTC6lAbxobneh-heyHGM6ZE9hPS-7ZLFBYVtdzMQI9Q1r_qzqaLBErVceFiI4ptzB7MV5bqXdk-gDXfSAGS2nZZ4TozmwGVDxreeUBey2ynfwpbV74BgedWEvctNs/s320/dec+2010+462.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561738410429398402" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Take for instance on Tuesday, like most of the United States, it was snowing...to make a long story short, on the way to school we hit a slick spot and did a 180 into a snow bank! That afternoon after all was fixed and done, I was looking for people to join me in my pity party...this is where the struggle comes in...<br /><br />Every single person I spoke with that day quickly pointed out how we were blessed that day!! True, we were very blessed...no damage to the car, to us or to other cars...had the money to get 4 new tires...my daughter did NOT have a panic attack during or after the ordeal...handled it all with my husband out of town...my mother-in-law spent time with me that morning while I calmed down<br /><br />BUT...I really wanted to break down and cry and complain that my husband was out of town, we have gotten more than our fair share of snow <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6kFsByqUJ8foCUk6F-N_vsoXOis93ZM9t2e82KtSfaXwDWdB62no0fpS-qg93368f-CBAZtcx7G4GyuF8qKgN7C9yxTMqulso6qYmyoEDuhpasszJt9PRrqb2w8WDfWjWyWQlgolHXEHN/s1600/phone+dec+2010+077.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6kFsByqUJ8foCUk6F-N_vsoXOis93ZM9t2e82KtSfaXwDWdB62no0fpS-qg93368f-CBAZtcx7G4GyuF8qKgN7C9yxTMqulso6qYmyoEDuhpasszJt9PRrqb2w8WDfWjWyWQlgolHXEHN/s320/phone+dec+2010+077.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561738404549227858" border="0" /></a><br />(Minnesota, I know there is suppose to be snow...but not non stop!),<br />and I was far away from MY family!<br /><br />My own Daddy was on the blessings band wagon too!!<br /><br />Funny isn't it?? How we can always point out the blessings when we are walking in the LIGHT!<br /><br />If I wasn't surrounded by this great group of people (my parents included), this little incident could have blown way out of proportion .... look at what the enemy would have loved to have happened...<br /><br />I could have held a grudge against my husband for "having to travel" instead of being thankful for a job = a breaking down of my marriage<br /><br />I could have spent the day playing the "what if" game and gotten too scared to drive in the snow again which is not practical considering where I live = anxiety and depression<br /><br />I could have totally lost it instead of pointing out how well my children handled the situation = words that cause brokenness instead of love and growth<br /><br />I could have refused to see my mother in law simply because she is not my mom = not allowing GOD to work in or use someone<br /><br />The enemy wanted to have a hay day with me on Tuesday, but GOD had other plans!!<br /><br />So even if it is annoying to have the blessings pointed out to you when all you want is a pity party, remember who is throwing the pity party!!<br /><br />Walk in the LIGHT and in ALL THINGS give THANKS and PRAISE...we are!!Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-58982194233618209112010-12-31T15:53:00.002-06:002011-01-03T10:39:01.460-06:00Expectations<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzH1EHv16h6iw-ckCIJ2rAVDuaru3EqUriphixbs6QAuA1OsYF6Rue2W8Es-WAhs4oB-tuiQs0QNF8ZUxkU3R85ZJXFSoUrLjMkHofxgU7EPc6g53uoNUeRWhHASwsGFXSw8q4yao9TN6K/s1600/christmas+2010+006.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzH1EHv16h6iw-ckCIJ2rAVDuaru3EqUriphixbs6QAuA1OsYF6Rue2W8Es-WAhs4oB-tuiQs0QNF8ZUxkU3R85ZJXFSoUrLjMkHofxgU7EPc6g53uoNUeRWhHASwsGFXSw8q4yao9TN6K/s320/christmas+2010+006.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557999217222406818" border="0" /></a><br />Well, if you have been reading my blog, you know that I fell short of the 40 days. Which in hindsight is okay, because "I" got in the way, again.<br /><br />The Spirit cannot place HIS words here if I continue to make it about me. The closer it got to my sister's heaven day, the more I wanted/needed something inspiring for me!! So, when I sat down to write, nothing came...and then life happened..<br /><br />My world came crashing down little by little and I lost sight of who is in control!<br /><br />My youngest started weekly appointments and then medication was added.<br />The mission trip planned for the week between Christmas and New Year's was canceled, by my husband due to violence in the area.<br />The stress of a "traditional" Christmas looming...<br /><br />I felt like every thing I was hoping for was being flushed away is one swoop of HIS hand. Which of course was far from the truth, as it usually is!!<br /><br />My youngest is learning life lessons to carry her through adulthood and I am learning about myself as well. (and now finally getting much needed sleep!)<br /><br />The airfare for the mission trip was used to fly to Texas for a surprise Thanksgiving with my family!!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuPaxOwBS0r3weelJ3Slcc9CpWz5ioXVKCP5tdBkTcxZwrYAPqHxI_jINsgD_3-BjMht6sx1clI3_ncbYG58Y4Eo_sTzrbovULp3CGNlELT5VnEtItUc1WxTzC9mWT4wYXhIqh2HBjCs6A/s1600/phone+dec+2010+025.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuPaxOwBS0r3weelJ3Slcc9CpWz5ioXVKCP5tdBkTcxZwrYAPqHxI_jINsgD_3-BjMht6sx1clI3_ncbYG58Y4Eo_sTzrbovULp3CGNlELT5VnEtItUc1WxTzC9mWT4wYXhIqh2HBjCs6A/s320/phone+dec+2010+025.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557999234072594578" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjam3JgMujbHBWQxYI4cvsBB0nNMuFGO0ODTe630DTG4LR6C4qWALm2YicMjMOhG_-mDD9yvQaFT4iy2cLhyphenhyphenXdiiqNm9U8zsOFMgQGFSqvta2SEEaJPWJFWM1CY80zd-IZur9wRL5mPU7eo/s1600/phone+dec+2010+027.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjam3JgMujbHBWQxYI4cvsBB0nNMuFGO0ODTe630DTG4LR6C4qWALm2YicMjMOhG_-mDD9yvQaFT4iy2cLhyphenhyphenXdiiqNm9U8zsOFMgQGFSqvta2SEEaJPWJFWM1CY80zd-IZur9wRL5mPU7eo/s320/phone+dec+2010+027.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557999230540002562" border="0" /></a><br /><br />And my husband and I truly are getting on the same page about changing our celebrations of Christmas, slow steps but steps together!<br /><br />AND most importantly, I have learned that what we expect and having expectations are two very different things.<br /><br />Expecting something, like going on the mission trip, I had already planned what would happen, how God would move and what my response would be...<br /><br />On the other hand, simply expecting means that I am open to HIS leading and excited about how He MIGHT move and HOW He will grow me in the process!<br /><br />Expectations should equal excitement, not disappointment.<br /><br />It all goes back to having faith like a child....even if a child know what might happen during a certain event or planned trip, they are still excited even if things don't go as planned...they have no preconceived ideas or plans or wants. They live the moment and enjoy the ride!! AND their expectations are always met and exceeded!<br /><br />So my goal this year, is to live expectantly, not expecting!<br /><br />Here to all of HIS expectations for us being fulfilled!!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVzMF77j14Uvx3ULo1nARah0bpIjMCU3fzamSBUcxpfnIt35AGkvLRBWZXQ8VMYz_RGr-sA6pyeu4L2cWQCqWhyM-2Cy3x21WbWLTx01h1VgyDVhjDFiPyCIte4KoHlIRXGaWSWRmfaO7G/s1600/christmas+2010+027.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVzMF77j14Uvx3ULo1nARah0bpIjMCU3fzamSBUcxpfnIt35AGkvLRBWZXQ8VMYz_RGr-sA6pyeu4L2cWQCqWhyM-2Cy3x21WbWLTx01h1VgyDVhjDFiPyCIte4KoHlIRXGaWSWRmfaO7G/s320/christmas+2010+027.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557999224237127218" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Happy New Year!Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-18489802338325374842010-11-13T14:54:00.005-06:002010-11-16T11:05:44.850-06:00Storms, Scars, and Healing<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik3BnM7EdEE1ncLiteVrrSl_9IbvD0ZbA8E8-3UPdPfpf00tgysVAU2V_ie_yJVrKMUrVoVKqX75hHbDy6_4VOxhkARNaeFx1ZGy9YMyfHPFT9CEqDpYd_-hM1FaBDq1pQ32L92yyu86Hp/s1600/christmas+2009+003.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik3BnM7EdEE1ncLiteVrrSl_9IbvD0ZbA8E8-3UPdPfpf00tgysVAU2V_ie_yJVrKMUrVoVKqX75hHbDy6_4VOxhkARNaeFx1ZGy9YMyfHPFT9CEqDpYd_-hM1FaBDq1pQ32L92yyu86Hp/s320/christmas+2009+003.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540193977217633458" border="0" /></a><br />It is crazy snowing outside, but there is not a sound to be heard..<br /><br />The peace in the storm.<br /><br />Life is like that isn't it? Storms come in the quite and we are taken off guard. We wake and find that the world is not like it was when we went to bed. Even when you are aware of the approaching storm, you are still taken by surprise.<br /><br />Then there are the storms that just refuse to go unnoticed and leave deep marks(scars) so that their destruction is never forgotten.<br /><br />Sin is a storm raging wild, sometimes quietly and sometimes brazenly, always leaving scars.<br /><br />Scars as a reminder not to travel that way again. Scars bearing witness for the forgiven to share the good news. Scars that paid the ransom for my life.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj5Sd7BiwIVbmv_wfk7WLjxPj2vxs6Hb_B0ff_K4AUE7rdvmU2ePu_emscdIyrnJezYEONB42_zr4piL7peRrR4hDgR7Bb8PrIz9pMlrA4Lw0047Gkt-MyfRx5Q9BNoO_wYmBPbSKgwHeM/s1600/014.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj5Sd7BiwIVbmv_wfk7WLjxPj2vxs6Hb_B0ff_K4AUE7rdvmU2ePu_emscdIyrnJezYEONB42_zr4piL7peRrR4hDgR7Bb8PrIz9pMlrA4Lw0047Gkt-MyfRx5Q9BNoO_wYmBPbSKgwHeM/s320/014.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540193994311815362" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Jesus bore the sin of the world so that we may live. My scars are the reason HE has his. HIS scars have saved me!!<br /><br />I get lost in the storm and forget the peace of HIM who has set me free. I allow the storm to overwrite the scars that will never be overwritten. I believe the lie that the storm will may not pass, and if it does pass, the damage will be to severe to begin again.<br /><br />The snow helps me remember that HE washes all things white as snow!!<br /><br />Watching the world come alive after the rain does the same thing!!<br /><br />Are you in a storm right now? Look for the washing and believe!!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicp04mfiokh92iuZW6Dh1Zc2Pb7qwR_9PpLQC-BfOQWtaa0ZiKzcv0ypHG3jXnPAW7PaPCJNxPVDuFEIf5bAMEzhF76yoNDVM-JsPMyICN_Yg8Zd7Ged1e75baLF-yH176yP8P6WS_2cep/s1600/light.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicp04mfiokh92iuZW6Dh1Zc2Pb7qwR_9PpLQC-BfOQWtaa0ZiKzcv0ypHG3jXnPAW7PaPCJNxPVDuFEIf5bAMEzhF76yoNDVM-JsPMyICN_Yg8Zd7Ged1e75baLF-yH176yP8P6WS_2cep/s320/light.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540193981640279778" border="0" /></a>Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-83315951566106178972010-11-01T17:08:00.003-05:002010-11-01T17:35:39.586-05:00Cleaning Closets (not what you think)Clash of the Titans comes to mind..<br /><br />A battle raging, hearts breaking and a feeling of losing control.<br /><br />I revisit <a href="http://jeanklinger.blogspot.com/2009/11/disconnected-and-yetconnected.html">here</a>.<br /><br />A friend of mine described grief as a closet in the hallway, a closet you store lots of things in. Boxes upon boxes neatly and tightly packed in. Once in a while a box will fall out, sometimes two, and you put them back in with no problems. But then, there are those times when the door flies open and every last little item comes sprawling out. And each thing requires looking at and slowly storing it away again.<br /><br />This is that time. Not as messy as in past years, but messy just the same.<br /><br />It doesn't help that I am far away from family or that my little brother is moving to AFRICA for FOUR years or that because of finances I cannot hop on a plane and hug my parents when ever I want!!!<br /><br />So, I have been having a pity party...they are lonely because no one else wants to come.<br /><br />Jesus didn't have pity parties when he was so far from home.<br /><br />Jesus didn't sit and wait when he couldn't just hop on a cloud and hug his Dad.<br /><br />Jesus invited friends to walk with him.<br /><br />Do you have a closet?<br /><br />Don't sit alone, invite Jesus to sort with you and you may find that during the sorting you find joy in the most unusual places.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9u-nMPthWVSefhD0laZT4a0NfY86kEzzlOfMhJltzINXgQ4R7Q8dsDpHgBg8ZJGo9OFlO8Zqa5zGKPR9JBBrVqw0VL9ZRwafFL-A9jx1ZDeEQd0WPQ242PC5rw2Pm-WzYcbBoXGzcJH8H/s1600/dec+2009+159.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9u-nMPthWVSefhD0laZT4a0NfY86kEzzlOfMhJltzINXgQ4R7Q8dsDpHgBg8ZJGo9OFlO8Zqa5zGKPR9JBBrVqw0VL9ZRwafFL-A9jx1ZDeEQd0WPQ242PC5rw2Pm-WzYcbBoXGzcJH8H/s320/dec+2009+159.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534712530277199026" border="0" /></a>Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-65854067665231422312010-10-31T10:05:00.012-05:002010-10-31T13:18:08.808-05:00Halloween<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj56LBmr9w_gulXdcJkfqRixz6tm-sAFG57E-ykp4b07b9FAjcM0w4KK7nZCpV3clE80kvlTLUlL6HubCH31y23MRs-nI5UNlxu-_8zpRihqCxlqJ_oPfEc9edBZYIK4hVJLmumDbVzZchF/s1600/phone+2010+017.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj56LBmr9w_gulXdcJkfqRixz6tm-sAFG57E-ykp4b07b9FAjcM0w4KK7nZCpV3clE80kvlTLUlL6HubCH31y23MRs-nI5UNlxu-_8zpRihqCxlqJ_oPfEc9edBZYIK4hVJLmumDbVzZchF/s320/phone+2010+017.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534275084885363458" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />So, today is Halloween. This time of year was the last time I visited with my sister before she was placed in a coma due to multiple organ failure.<br /><br />It is hard for me to be excited about Halloween for many reasons, the one above in particular.<br /><br />Every year since, I have used Halloween as an outreach project...my sister would approve.<br /><br />See she spent her "good" days during her hospital stay reaching out to those in other rooms who were alone and introducing them to Jesus.<br /><br />I place Bible verses on the candy I hand out...sometimes I have attached <a href="http://whatgodwantsforyourlife.com/wordpress">tracs</a>, and one year I had my kids hand thank you notes to every house they visited with a Bible verse inside! People are coming to the door anyway, why not send them home with a little hope!!<br /><br />It is not much, and most probably get thrown away...but someone is reading them first...a sliver of light is breaking in the dark places. And the smallest of light can shatter the most sturdiest of walls!!<br /><br />Have a safe Halloween and spread some LIGHT into the darkness!Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-43035483900798483212010-10-29T08:10:00.003-05:002010-10-29T08:28:15.042-05:00In the midst of the storm...PEACE<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3XzSKDT0MyAsmAT_wUCdvsg7mbBboUGIk-bCcpYyaf-LgEp6k3FXQ1pwiZFsgzC4a6YSh9E_b95NaxlL3djEmgLK3-OuqIOAQO_CN4XKynmYKtmxey62n-ALRlslfMRNkdROUxUhHwIfc/s1600/camera2+021.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3XzSKDT0MyAsmAT_wUCdvsg7mbBboUGIk-bCcpYyaf-LgEp6k3FXQ1pwiZFsgzC4a6YSh9E_b95NaxlL3djEmgLK3-OuqIOAQO_CN4XKynmYKtmxey62n-ALRlslfMRNkdROUxUhHwIfc/s320/camera2+021.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533458733867626466" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The first big storm system has come and gone. Leaving only a few signs of even being here, at least around me that is. Other places still have the reminders (10 inches of snow!).<br /><br />The wind was strong and wild and non-stop. I kept thinking about the disciples in the boat and Jesus asleep. He was resting for the work on the "other side" of the lake. The disciples had just witnessed the feeding of 5000 men, but quickly came to the conclusion that this storm was their demise.<br /><br />The storm is raging in my family. Nothing serious, just lots of little things that drain a person. Continuous things that take time to unravel and smooth out. Some days it seems the storm will be my demise, but that is just not the TRUTH.<br /><br />PEACE, this word is what calmed the storm and the disciples. A word spoken that changed everything.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwLmZ31FyFlk5FUC7fCyTh8y5uza94zGS_7Z0FUZ5IZDsmE1ZEuKRMwFhT4ij5SvvkrdcK0zYvNWLiNO_dA3T9UBeTAIW-w2SjyPNmxGDvtcf30GT8wTfwblFtvufKIFVp2oTp02nVzHZd/s1600/sedona+062.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwLmZ31FyFlk5FUC7fCyTh8y5uza94zGS_7Z0FUZ5IZDsmE1ZEuKRMwFhT4ij5SvvkrdcK0zYvNWLiNO_dA3T9UBeTAIW-w2SjyPNmxGDvtcf30GT8wTfwblFtvufKIFVp2oTp02nVzHZd/s320/sedona+062.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533458728007656722" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Peace is more than a feeling, it is a life style. It is not something that can be found, it has to be lived.<br /><br />You become Peace. It is fruit of the Spirit that is alive and well in you. Peace becomes apart of your identity.Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-51612671273237181332010-10-18T21:40:00.004-05:002010-10-29T08:09:10.587-05:00FLASH OF LIGHT<span style="font-style: italic;">I know I have not written in a while, dealing with family issues...I will try to catch up :)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">(this post was actually written 10 days ago)</span><br /><br />Have you ever wished you could just "shake" JESUS into someone??<br /><br />This is how I have been feeling lately. Actually, it is just impatience and having to 'live' GOD'S timing and not my own!<br /><br />We spent time at the cabin this past month. I was hoping for some "flash of light" experience as to what and when and how things are going to turn out for my husband and me...yes, you guessed it...no such thing.<br /><br />I was just grouchy. Of course, while in this state, it seems to me that it is my husband who needs to be shaken. So things were not exactly relaxing. I was preachin' and he was being loving and patient with me in spite of myself.<br /><br />Was still in a fightin' mood this morning...however I was looking for forgiveness and when that happens hearts soften...usually my own!<br /><br />And wouldn't know it, GOD has something wonderful for me today!!!<br /><br />A beautiful sunrise, time with my husband all day, and listening to his Mom share how the HOLY SPIRIT has taken residence within her!! A very "flash of light" experience!!!<br /><br />Funny how if we can just take ourselves out of the way, GOD can do some pretty amazing things right around us!!Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-15730500032220076362010-10-14T14:08:00.003-05:002010-10-15T09:34:42.221-05:00DecisionsMy heart has been so close to bursting the last few days. It teeters between joy and pain.<br /><br />So much is going on, and yet, at the same time, GOD is so very present.<br /><br />Have you been here? Struggling with decisions, hoping you are making the right ones, knowing someone is going to get hurt either way?<br /><br />The past two years have been full of decisions like this, and there are still ones to be made. It has not been easy. Most don't understand. Some would rather not really know. It makes the decision making ever so lonely. {sigh}<br /><br />I am tired. My husband is tired. My children are tired. But we push on, knowing that GOD has a plan. THE BEST is waiting for us. And we know we are walking in HIS word and HIS ways.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbGfg9lMyvlMUH82YO2U98t2R3Q5SxQiiYy6N8PQpdZHejS6uvWH4TD77scsGYVLnUF0OdLpHqO5dJGZXg4ye9dUFsu0tctGAFzNmLJmIEGy2O2QlceZps6Aj3S6CHdDmiA89UgE7RtFT0/s1600/006.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbGfg9lMyvlMUH82YO2U98t2R3Q5SxQiiYy6N8PQpdZHejS6uvWH4TD77scsGYVLnUF0OdLpHqO5dJGZXg4ye9dUFsu0tctGAFzNmLJmIEGy2O2QlceZps6Aj3S6CHdDmiA89UgE7RtFT0/s320/006.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528280568061877138" border="0" /></a><br /><br />When you decided to follow CHRIST, it was not a one time decision. Jesus, himself, said you have to daily pick up your cross and follow me. (Luke 9:23) It is a daily decision. It is not an automatic like breathing, though there are days that it is, most days require choice...either to FULLY follow or not.<br /><br />The world as made so many exceptions, that most of us are not really sure if we are FULLY following or not...it is a touchy subject. However, if you believe that the complete Bible is the TRUTH, the WORD of GOD, then you just have to look in the mirror and ask...Do I follow in the footsteps of CHRIST?<br /><br />Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-46451730777142726422010-10-12T22:12:00.006-05:002010-10-12T23:02:57.142-05:00Seasons<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtmsCx40YHDhAOihDfwVWmN5xxmKI9Oto9SWHF1Jnvn8zu58eeZRiTN1TmGvd5AdaFANbNJXXD8ArdGUWqydnofsCE46lGeepzyeDnd3JqH_lrEb7T3r2DSNqN3InlFzSmevQi-P-qdyr1/s1600/fall+2010+022.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtmsCx40YHDhAOihDfwVWmN5xxmKI9Oto9SWHF1Jnvn8zu58eeZRiTN1TmGvd5AdaFANbNJXXD8ArdGUWqydnofsCE46lGeepzyeDnd3JqH_lrEb7T3r2DSNqN3InlFzSmevQi-P-qdyr1/s320/fall+2010+022.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527369158005497106" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Fall is my most favorite time of year.<br /><br />I love the colors. I like watching the process of the change. Watching the sunlight just light a tree on fire.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCKAWqUzz8GkhjH6q_hKCJbM8kDtuVvYvjb4bW-VbcDfJo_p80CzcvCLk1YxX2HsEsieLXOifVl7admMuN8OL7tq7SKRiKjK9xuQJmaR6On4nrkKlT8337C0oymCThMwHifPlZItvk7yxM/s1600/fall+2010+010.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCKAWqUzz8GkhjH6q_hKCJbM8kDtuVvYvjb4bW-VbcDfJo_p80CzcvCLk1YxX2HsEsieLXOifVl7admMuN8OL7tq7SKRiKjK9xuQJmaR6On4nrkKlT8337C0oymCThMwHifPlZItvk7yxM/s320/fall+2010+010.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527368102120333106" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPCfrq_RhFlsNoYMGF6laO_ttB13pJ5XDnKaW5D3UtbfhbF30dJFEEvyeYr7TLUWO_9awgNINpuuVFHvK__lX0BsURQqlBIYA5aZV_GB367L0jY0zZIU4rtlRH0AreCsoarGu9ln6AFcFt/s1600/fall+2010+002.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPCfrq_RhFlsNoYMGF6laO_ttB13pJ5XDnKaW5D3UtbfhbF30dJFEEvyeYr7TLUWO_9awgNINpuuVFHvK__lX0BsURQqlBIYA5aZV_GB367L0jY0zZIU4rtlRH0AreCsoarGu9ln6AFcFt/s320/fall+2010+002.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527368110939131698" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Trees have always fascinated me. The bark, the leaves, the branches...I can stare at trees all day and not get bored! My mom would even tell me to go and hug a tree on a bad day...she knew me better than I knew myself at times.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMjU1yuXLJNuwolUEH9gTaXfcA9L2sKsiECYEnJ8fVQP0jg0jlskfnJcShGCjBOt8A88qz5uYlsiPzpLoSLgYgAUzc3XTPbObkhxGoCxe805LrDAA3p9V34cbh-Q8Da2wekP0jHTxNMM-Z/s1600/fall+2010+032.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMjU1yuXLJNuwolUEH9gTaXfcA9L2sKsiECYEnJ8fVQP0jg0jlskfnJcShGCjBOt8A88qz5uYlsiPzpLoSLgYgAUzc3XTPbObkhxGoCxe805LrDAA3p9V34cbh-Q8Da2wekP0jHTxNMM-Z/s320/fall+2010+032.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527368113743197890" border="0" /></a><br /><br />There are so many references to trees and GOD in the Bible...I can't help but think that GOD really likes trees too!!<br /><br />Last year was my first year to experience the "change of colors", and I was so taken by the process. This year, I am not so <a href="http://jeanklinger.blogspot.com/2009/11/wow-it-has-been-awhile-i-have-been.html">heavy of heart</a>. I see blazing colors dancing in the sunlight. I see the wind dancing with the leaves. I see life transforming.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLrVA5M3G2fkcxn_R1ko3EyoZhkOhbSsCmN7KJPBumYdlyDjwXUIQ2lj1HipQ2aU1ud4NU1L9i2c47SkUV6eEAh3dvNnaK6jXzBdayQ04mvVUNBynC759YCpGXaYbgD_BsgbrEy1caZle9/s1600/oct+2010+040.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLrVA5M3G2fkcxn_R1ko3EyoZhkOhbSsCmN7KJPBumYdlyDjwXUIQ2lj1HipQ2aU1ud4NU1L9i2c47SkUV6eEAh3dvNnaK6jXzBdayQ04mvVUNBynC759YCpGXaYbgD_BsgbrEy1caZle9/s320/oct+2010+040.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527375437586490034" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVE7P1JK4ahrE3hhRCvjnW3WWV8SENKD_gdu1jHkmKUoWmxTziSr7eQZ4jirF8zpcDopd3sgtfrCG5J_9c8cS1b8Svw2mGYtqVOwOXzrAK5lJh60XroOILVxEHVAZ7EciRwjL1fCcJHOZv/s1600/fall+2010+029.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVE7P1JK4ahrE3hhRCvjnW3WWV8SENKD_gdu1jHkmKUoWmxTziSr7eQZ4jirF8zpcDopd3sgtfrCG5J_9c8cS1b8Svw2mGYtqVOwOXzrAK5lJh60XroOILVxEHVAZ7EciRwjL1fCcJHOZv/s320/fall+2010+029.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527369162905826962" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I suspect that as we grow in faith and life, the same seasons take on different meanings each year. I am no different than any of you. GOD writes HIS message throughout HIS creation. We just have to have our eyes open to see it, our ears ready to hear HIS voice, and our hearts open to receive HIS love.<br /><br />Enjoy the passing of the torch, from abundant supply to the quite rest of winter. Renew your soul and let the wind take the old away.Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-18217760747311097172010-10-10T08:54:00.002-05:002010-10-10T09:00:19.909-05:00It's all in a NAMEJust wanted to share inspiration this Sunday morning!<br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yzqTFNfeDnE?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yzqTFNfeDnE?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-30005749731453618732010-10-09T21:18:00.004-05:002010-10-09T22:18:02.702-05:00Personality=Identity=PersonalityOkay then, my identity is with Christ, or is that in Christ or.. exactly, how does that work?<br /><br />Good question!<br /><br />I truly believe that it is all the above and more.<br /><br />Identity is complicated. There are many facets and layers to all of us. If you were to ask a handful of your friends to use one word to describe you, you would get a handful of different answers.<br /><br />But isn't that our personality you are talking about? Well, kinda, but your personality is just an expression of who you really are in your being. And your being is who you ARE, hence your identity is expressed through your personality. (Note: I am not an expert, these are just my thoughts!)<br /><br />And, if you are a follower of Christ, it is HE that lives in us and we are to become like HIM.<br /><br />Complicated, I know, but just hang in there...<br /><br />When Christ is allowed in, He brings the Holy Spirit to take up permanent residence within us. The Holy Spirit has gifts and fruits to offer. We don't all get the same gifts (1 Corinthians 12), however we all are able to receive the same fruit.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23</span><br /><br />These fruits don't just all appear at once; they grow and mature just as we do in our faith.<br /><br />As the gifts mature, we change. Our identity is becoming more and more like Christ.<br /><br />This identity will survive all this world can throw at us. Such as going from a stay-at-home mom of toddlers to teenagers to an empty nest. Or, single to married to single again. Or, lucrative career to unemployed. All of these can SEEM to change who we are, but they are just circumstances, what might define a moment in our lives..not who we are!<br /><br />The world views these things as identity markers...and more times than not we do too. And we lose sight of who we are, of who we are meant to be.<br /><br />There has been many times when I so wanted someone to come along side me and just tell me who I am, what I am to be doing...I have felt so lost at times!!<br /><br />One day I was finally still long enough to hear GOD say <span style="font-style: italic;">be</span> and<span style="font-style: italic;"> do</span> love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.<br /><br />That is a big undertaking...so with GOD's help, I try.Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-31033837818022798742010-10-07T21:15:00.002-05:002010-10-07T22:20:43.989-05:00Being robbed by doubtWhen I started this 40 day journey, I had no idea what or how or where GOD was leading me. I still really don't. However, there seems to be a pattern starting and I just know that it has GOD written all over it.<br /><br />After my first post, a friend of mine sent me a message and said that it caught her eye because this year's focus in the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/#%21/group.php?gid=21283903465">group </a>she teaches is on Preventing Identity Theft, Protecting who GOD meant for you to be. Then today over at <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/">Faith Barista</a>, she is having a "jam" with the question, Can Faith Change your Personality? AND then<a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/"> Ann </a>talks about having secrets, which cause hurt, pain and falling away. On top of ALL that, during bible study this morning, the focus was on John the Baptist and his sudden doubt of who he thought Jesus was and his own role in it, because now he was locked away and death was sure to come. (Luke 7:18-23)<br /><br />When the same subject, though under different lenses, keeps getting repeated...you have to wonder...GOD is up to something and we might just need to stop and take notice.<br /><br />This is not a new question or even a new problem. It starts in the garden with Eve and the serpent. Doubt was introduced and she questioned who she was and WHO GOD WAS in relation to her. Her identity was being held hostage by a stranger, an enemy, who only wants to cause death and destruction. Just for the record, this happens to men too, though they are less likely to talk about it.<br /><br />So what do we do?<br /><br />The problem is that we are caught of guard, just like Eve. We have a relationship with GOD and it is good. We are in small groups, bible studies, on-line blogs sharing our faith. Then something, or someone blind sides us and we fall, fall hard. This is the open door for doubt to come in and sit a spell.<br /><br />For Eve is was a play on words...Did HE really say...surely HE did not say...<br /><br />For John the Baptist it was a dark prison cell and he KNEW what he was put on this earth for...making a path for the ONE, and the ONE was there, but he was in jail, how was he to make a path???<br /><br />DOUBT it is the enemy's "go to" snare especially for believers.<br /><br />For me, it was my sister dying within 40 days of being diagnosed with cancer. See, GOD had spared her when she had been brutally attacked in her 20's. HE had spared her when she had been involved in a terrible car accident only a few years later. She was my parents first full term baby. SHE was the one who asked hard questions of the pastors at church. SHE was the one who always pointed me in the right direction. SHE was the one ministering in the very hospital halls while she was having treatments, giving hope to those without it. THIS, this can't be happening to HER, not when HE had saved HER so many times!!<br /><br />I knew what GOD could do, I wondered why HE wasn't.<br /><br />I knew that heaven is the ultimate healing, I wondered if I really believed.<br /><br />I knew that GOD knows, I wondered does HE really?<br /><br />GOD asked me to TRUST HIM and I said yes that I would, but I had already opened the door to DOUBT.<br /><br />It has taken time, but I know that I know, I fully TRUST GOD with everything. My <span style="font-style: italic;">head</span> knowledge has become my <span style="font-style: italic;">heart</span> knowledge. Does that mean I don't doubt? No. Life is hard. However, doubt does not take hold...it is a human response to life in a fallen world. But now, it is also an invitation to prayer.<br /><br />When doubt comes, I know to draw closer to GOD because the enemy wants just the opposite.<br /><br />In Luke, Jesus knew that John the Baptist had the head knowledge, the doubt came from his heart because he was in dire straits. Jesus did not rebuke him, but assured him of his knowledge.<br /><br />The only way to receive that assurance is too seek it. John the Baptist sent messengers to Jesus asking, Are you the one, or should we expect someone else? We have to actively seek the TRUTH in worship, prayer and study. TRUTH is the only way to keep out doubt!<br /><br />Our identities are at risk of being taken from us through doubt of who we are in CHRIST!! KNOW HIM and KNOW who you are!!Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642832508451302589.post-64726011865960198812010-10-06T07:47:00.002-05:002010-10-06T08:31:48.635-05:00Awakened but still lostWith the awakening came guilt. How much have I missed? Did everyone else know I was emotionally unconscious? Have I left scars in my children by not being present?<br /><br />The enemy went to work right away! Luckily, so did GOD!<br /><br />GOD had not taken me out of every part of ministry, I was still in a women's group at church. My saving grace. I was able to be honest here about my awakening. No condemnation, no guilt, just encouragement. I think I apologized to my table for a year, for I was the table leader...thankfully the HOLY SPIRIT was always present and did the leading!! (Thank you Vicky and Karyn for being faithful to the calling of forming <a href="http://christchurchplano.org/moms-n-more/">Mom's and Mosaics</a>!)<br /><br />That winter I started a Beth Moore study on Daniel. I have done other studies before, but this time I could not get enough! I even took it on vacation to Hawaii...downloaded video, had it at the pool...my oldest daughter even noticed how I just could not put it down! Something inside me became ALIVE and the WORD BECAME ALIVE in a new and powerful way!<br /><br />From there GOD had me in two years of Spiritual Transformation classes, getting back to basics as it were. But this was a much deeper level, more profound. I participated in silent retreats, reading Foster, Nouwen and others, learning how to become the<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Life-Beloved-Spiritual-Living-Secular/dp/0824519868"> BELOVED</a>.<br /><br />The foundation of my true identity was being reinforced. I was learning who GOD created me to be. I was learning that HE alone held the key to who I am, who I was, and who I am to become.Transforming Texan aka Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626825862685457615noreply@blogger.com1