Monday, November 30, 2009
Disconnected and yet...connected
So, I barely made it through Thanksgiving, somehow I was able to hold it together, but barely...
I have felt so disconnected lately, walking an emotional tight wire...the slightest movement could, and sometimes would, cause a feeling of falling off the edge. Even though I was sometimes falling into darkness, there was someone, something, either holding on or ready to catch me...disconnected and yet not alone.
This was the second Thanksgiving in Minnesota, the first was right after my sister died...it felt like the first time, always checking my emotions, trying to keep the flood of tears from falling, trying to be thankful for the small things, which of course are never small considering the GIVER of such gifts...more checks of emotions..sigh..
The cloud has lifted yet again, praise be to HIM, the giver of ALL things!
I truly believe HE walks us through cloud banks just so we don't lose our sight...the tears cleanse and heal and we remember what to look for...the world gets our eyes dirty and we forget...the clouds come to cleanse..
Still feeling a little disconnected and yet not lost, still searching, but not in vain...looking to find my joy again...and it will come in the morning (mourning)!
Peace to my friends, and may this coming season find you searching for what the true gift is...Christ Jesus!