Honestly, when I read the prompt, I had nothing to say, at least nothing good to say.
We are still in the throws of winter here, well my definition of winter anyway, temps in the 20-30's, blizzard warnings and 3-6 inches of snow!
And as I was sitting next the fire drinking my morning coffee, the snow started to let up and the room brightened just a bit. What happened next nearly sent me to my knees, literally. I spoke these words aloud: "I won't be fooled by this light, I know there is still more darkness coming!" And with that my spirit wailed within me, because this is how my heart has been for a while now.
The few rays of light that have entered, I have refused to believe and to trust. Instead of enjoying the break in the storm, I have called it false hope and have sunk deeper in my pity. I have said I wanted to live full of joy and excitement for Christ, but really only if it is on my terms...happy feel good comfortable living.
These verses from Matthew have been rolling around in me since August and God has been digging up roots and exposing Truth.
New International Version (NIV)
24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.(A)
It has been the second part of verse 23 that has slayed me time and time again.
At first, fear gripped me and I truly was afraid, that all this time, my life in Christ had been a charade. (The enemy loves to wield fear to keep us trapped in bondage.) As the Holy Spirit worked in me and showed me Truth, the fear subsided and true repentance started as God revealed where my heart needed change.
I no longer fear when the Spirit calls me out, like on Monday morning. I know God is good and gracious. I know He wants me to draw closer to Him. I am still surprised, however, by my own lack of faith and trust.
Funny how that we are surprised but God is not. Ridiculous that He still chases after us when we are so blind. Transforming that HE loves us still.
Verse 24 has not been lost on me either, considering our financial mess. (my wanting a happy feel good comfortable life...)
God is good. Always. He wants only the best for me. He wants a bright light in me to shine for HIM and HIM alone.
Sunday is Palm Sunday, and there is no false hope in Jesus.
I am so glad that God does not leave me in the dark, but that He shines HIS light into my dark places that are parading around as light.
Winter may be hijacking my spring, but Jesus is transforming my heart.