UPSIDE/DOWNSIDE

Over the years I have learned that being surrounded by fellow 'walkers of the WAY', has been both a blessing and a struggle. (You noticed that I did not say 'Christians'...I strongly feel that label leaves lots to be desired...many claim to be, but their actions speak louder than their words...I am talking about people who REALLY believe what they believe and their lives SHOW it!)



Take for instance on Tuesday, like most of the United States, it was snowing...to make a long story short, on the way to school we hit a slick spot and did a 180 into a snow bank! That afternoon after all was fixed and done, I was looking for people to join me in my pity party...this is where the struggle comes in...

Every single person I spoke with that day quickly pointed out how we were blessed that day!! True, we were very blessed...no damage to the car, to us or to other cars...had the money to get 4 new tires...my daughter did NOT have a panic attack during or after the ordeal...handled it all with my husband out of town...my mother-in-law spent time with me that morning while I calmed down

BUT...I really wanted to break down and cry and complain that my husband was out of town, we have gotten more than our fair share of snow


(Minnesota, I know there is suppose to be snow...but not non stop!),
and I was far away from MY family!

My own Daddy was on the blessings band wagon too!!

Funny isn't it?? How we can always point out the blessings when we are walking in the LIGHT!

If I wasn't surrounded by this great group of people (my parents included), this little incident could have blown way out of proportion .... look at what the enemy would have loved to have happened...

I could have held a grudge against my husband for "having to travel" instead of being thankful for a job = a breaking down of my marriage

I could have spent the day playing the "what if" game and gotten too scared to drive in the snow again which is not practical considering where I live = anxiety and depression

I could have totally lost it instead of pointing out how well my children handled the situation = words that cause brokenness instead of love and growth

I could have refused to see my mother in law simply because she is not my mom = not allowing GOD to work in or use someone

The enemy wanted to have a hay day with me on Tuesday, but GOD had other plans!!

So even if it is annoying to have the blessings pointed out to you when all you want is a pity party, remember who is throwing the pity party!!

Walk in the LIGHT and in ALL THINGS give THANKS and PRAISE...we are!!

Expectations

Well, if you have been reading my blog, you know that I fell short of the 40 days. Which in hindsight is okay, because "I" got in the way, again.

The Spirit cannot place HIS words here if I continue to make it about me. The closer it got to my sister's heaven day, the more I wanted/needed something inspiring for me!! So, when I sat down to write, nothing came...and then life happened..

My world came crashing down little by little and I lost sight of who is in control!

My youngest started weekly appointments and then medication was added.
The mission trip planned for the week between Christmas and New Year's was canceled, by my husband due to violence in the area.
The stress of a "traditional" Christmas looming...

I felt like every thing I was hoping for was being flushed away is one swoop of HIS hand. Which of course was far from the truth, as it usually is!!

My youngest is learning life lessons to carry her through adulthood and I am learning about myself as well. (and now finally getting much needed sleep!)

The airfare for the mission trip was used to fly to Texas for a surprise Thanksgiving with my family!!



And my husband and I truly are getting on the same page about changing our celebrations of Christmas, slow steps but steps together!

AND most importantly, I have learned that what we expect and having expectations are two very different things.

Expecting something, like going on the mission trip, I had already planned what would happen, how God would move and what my response would be...

On the other hand, simply expecting means that I am open to HIS leading and excited about how He MIGHT move and HOW He will grow me in the process!

Expectations should equal excitement, not disappointment.

It all goes back to having faith like a child....even if a child know what might happen during a certain event or planned trip, they are still excited even if things don't go as planned...they have no preconceived ideas or plans or wants. They live the moment and enjoy the ride!! AND their expectations are always met and exceeded!

So my goal this year, is to live expectantly, not expecting!

Here to all of HIS expectations for us being fulfilled!!



Happy New Year!

Storms, Scars, and Healing

It is crazy snowing outside, but there is not a sound to be heard..

The peace in the storm.

Life is like that isn't it? Storms come in the quite and we are taken off guard. We wake and find that the world is not like it was when we went to bed. Even when you are aware of the approaching storm, you are still taken by surprise.

Then there are the storms that just refuse to go unnoticed and leave deep marks(scars) so that their destruction is never forgotten.

Sin is a storm raging wild, sometimes quietly and sometimes brazenly, always leaving scars.

Scars as a reminder not to travel that way again. Scars bearing witness for the forgiven to share the good news. Scars that paid the ransom for my life.



Jesus bore the sin of the world so that we may live. My scars are the reason HE has his. HIS scars have saved me!!

I get lost in the storm and forget the peace of HIM who has set me free. I allow the storm to overwrite the scars that will never be overwritten. I believe the lie that the storm will may not pass, and if it does pass, the damage will be to severe to begin again.

The snow helps me remember that HE washes all things white as snow!!

Watching the world come alive after the rain does the same thing!!

Are you in a storm right now? Look for the washing and believe!!

Cleaning Closets (not what you think)

Clash of the Titans comes to mind..

A battle raging, hearts breaking and a feeling of losing control.

I revisit here.

A friend of mine described grief as a closet in the hallway, a closet you store lots of things in. Boxes upon boxes neatly and tightly packed in. Once in a while a box will fall out, sometimes two, and you put them back in with no problems. But then, there are those times when the door flies open and every last little item comes sprawling out. And each thing requires looking at and slowly storing it away again.

This is that time. Not as messy as in past years, but messy just the same.

It doesn't help that I am far away from family or that my little brother is moving to AFRICA for FOUR years or that because of finances I cannot hop on a plane and hug my parents when ever I want!!!

So, I have been having a pity party...they are lonely because no one else wants to come.

Jesus didn't have pity parties when he was so far from home.

Jesus didn't sit and wait when he couldn't just hop on a cloud and hug his Dad.

Jesus invited friends to walk with him.

Do you have a closet?

Don't sit alone, invite Jesus to sort with you and you may find that during the sorting you find joy in the most unusual places.

Halloween

So, today is Halloween. This time of year was the last time I visited with my sister before she was placed in a coma due to multiple organ failure.

It is hard for me to be excited about Halloween for many reasons, the one above in particular.

Every year since, I have used Halloween as an outreach project...my sister would approve.

See she spent her "good" days during her hospital stay reaching out to those in other rooms who were alone and introducing them to Jesus.

I place Bible verses on the candy I hand out...sometimes I have attached tracs, and one year I had my kids hand thank you notes to every house they visited with a Bible verse inside! People are coming to the door anyway, why not send them home with a little hope!!

It is not much, and most probably get thrown away...but someone is reading them first...a sliver of light is breaking in the dark places. And the smallest of light can shatter the most sturdiest of walls!!

Have a safe Halloween and spread some LIGHT into the darkness!

In the midst of the storm...PEACE

The first big storm system has come and gone. Leaving only a few signs of even being here, at least around me that is. Other places still have the reminders (10 inches of snow!).

The wind was strong and wild and non-stop. I kept thinking about the disciples in the boat and Jesus asleep. He was resting for the work on the "other side" of the lake. The disciples had just witnessed the feeding of 5000 men, but quickly came to the conclusion that this storm was their demise.

The storm is raging in my family. Nothing serious, just lots of little things that drain a person. Continuous things that take time to unravel and smooth out. Some days it seems the storm will be my demise, but that is just not the TRUTH.

PEACE, this word is what calmed the storm and the disciples. A word spoken that changed everything.



Peace is more than a feeling, it is a life style. It is not something that can be found, it has to be lived.

You become Peace. It is fruit of the Spirit that is alive and well in you. Peace becomes apart of your identity.

FLASH OF LIGHT

I know I have not written in a while, dealing with family issues...I will try to catch up :)

(this post was actually written 10 days ago)

Have you ever wished you could just "shake" JESUS into someone??

This is how I have been feeling lately. Actually, it is just impatience and having to 'live' GOD'S timing and not my own!

We spent time at the cabin this past month. I was hoping for some "flash of light" experience as to what and when and how things are going to turn out for my husband and me...yes, you guessed it...no such thing.

I was just grouchy. Of course, while in this state, it seems to me that it is my husband who needs to be shaken. So things were not exactly relaxing. I was preachin' and he was being loving and patient with me in spite of myself.

Was still in a fightin' mood this morning...however I was looking for forgiveness and when that happens hearts soften...usually my own!

And wouldn't know it, GOD has something wonderful for me today!!!

A beautiful sunrise, time with my husband all day, and listening to his Mom share how the HOLY SPIRIT has taken residence within her!! A very "flash of light" experience!!!

Funny how if we can just take ourselves out of the way, GOD can do some pretty amazing things right around us!!